Back on the Bandwagon

Back on the weight watchers band wagon tomorrow.  I had lost 20 lbs on it last year before all the fertility drugs/failed ivf, etc.  I know it won't come easy this time since we are coming into the holidays but if i can try to lose a few lbs and not gain anything, I think we'll be good.  I am actually at the weight I was when I got pregnant, but I am pretty fluffy.  And I gained 25 lbs with all the drugs and the depression from the first failed IVF.  I would really like to drop some of that gained weight.  I am back on BC Pills too, so I am hoping that doesn't affect my weight loss attempts too much.  

Also I am starting my walk away the pounds videos again tomorrow.  Once I am back to work I will go to the gym on my lunch break but right now, I don't want to take Mason into the gym daycare and expose him to all those germs.  So it's home workouts for now.  Which should work out fine.  I hope.  

DH is harvesting the last of the crops, which is the corn.  Corn harvest SUCKS.  All the corn has to be dried in the dryer and it takes FOREVER.  It's 8 am - 11 pm days of him being gone.  I used to not mind it, I'd just pickup and go.  But now with Mason I don't exactly have that luxury.  We will probably be spending a lot of time at my mom's this week just to get out and away.  

Goodbye Elastic Pants!

I officially am saying goodbye to my elastic waist maternity pants.  I had to go up a size to get some to button over that lovely c-section roll, but I'm in them.  One size isn't that bad.  Could be worse.

I had my 6 week checkup appointment on Thursday and got released to start exercising, lifting more than my child, sex (eek!), and resuming normal activities all together.  I could actually go back to work on Nov 15 but I am not going back officially until January 2nd.  I'll be working a little bit from home part time in December for some extra money with it being the holidays and all.  A little extra cash while little man naps isn't that bad of a deal.  I just need to get my house in order before then.

On the home front, Fridge and Dishwasher are both repaired.  I am so glad the dishwasher is fixed.  Handwashing all those bottle parts SUCKS!  I am on a plan over the next week to get this house back in order.  Right now it's a freaking disaster zone.  Partially stuff I never did while pregnant due to lack of energy and just plain being too big!!!  lol.

Little man is good, hard to believe he is 6 weeks old already.  I've been getting better at taking him places.  He has been to Red Lobster, Kohls, and *shudder* walmart.  Walmart was this morning and was against everything I had to take him there, but DH was working and I had to pickup a prescription and we needed Laundry detergent so it was a quick in quick out trip.  He slept the whole time.  I really do have a good baby!  :)

We have a refluxer!

Well we got the test results back from Mason's Upper GI test yesterday and he does have a mild case of acid reflux.  Which normally wouldn't be an issue, if he didn't have laryngomalacia. But the reflux further irritates the throat making him not wanting to eat.  So we have him on a medicine as of today that will help with the reflux.  He apparently has silent reflux, where he swallows it after it comes up, similarly to an adult with acid reflux.  So not only does it burn on the way up, it burns on the way back down as well.  My poor little guy.  Hopefully he feels better soon.

To add to the crap lately, the dishwasher and now the refrigerator have both shit the bed.  Dishwasher I can handle not working for a while, but the fridge, not so much.  Repair man can't come until Monday so we are dorm fridging it until then. We literally have the worst luck ever of any couple when it comes to appliances.  

On the plus side, yes there IS a plus side, 1/2 of the crops are harvested.  Which means, once Hurricane Sandy goes through, I will have my husband back sooner than I expected.  They hauled some serious ass today trying to beat the rain.  I just really want my husband back.  It's hard taking care of a newborn as it is, but coupled with living in the middle of nowhere and not having anyone to talk to, it makes it tough.  Mason and I did take our first solo "fun trip" last night and went to see my grandma who hasn't seen him yet, and then to my mom's for a quick visit.  I am very lucky, he LOVES his car seat and goes right to sleep when in it.  :)  He's a traveler which is a good thing

I am starting to feel a lot better so hopefully when I go to the dr. next week he will release me and I can start doing normal things again.  I have been cleaning a little here and there trying to get my strength up.  I never realized how hard it is to recover from a surgery like that.  It's not easy.  Especially when your hormones are freaking CRAZY!!!!

1 Month Old ... and a Diagnosis...

Well little man was 1 month old on Saturday.  It's hard to believe he's that old already.  It's been a LONG month though.  We went to an Ear Nose and Throat Dr. for him on Friday.  He squeaks when he breaths, and I mean SQUEAKS.  It's to the point it keeps us up sometimes at night.  My pediatrician referred us to the ENT.  After a heart breaking scope up his nose, he is diagnosed with Laryngomalacia.  It's a softening on the windpipe cartlidge.  Most people when born there's is hardened, little man's is still soft.  There's no real treatment for it other than to wait it out and eventually it will harden.  Only about 5% of cases get bad enough to require surgery or a traech tube until it's healed (yea that about sent me off the deep end when I heard that, but he's not that bad thankfully)  It's probably worse for us than it is for him.  However, the one thing that does make it worse is acid reflux.  So we have an upper GI test scheduled for Thursday to see how bad his reflux is and from there they will give him some medicine.  The reflux coupled with the Laryngomalacia will cause severe irritation of his throat. This can cause more ear infections and sinus infections if not treated properly.  By treating the reflux, it will lessen the irritation and not allow the infections in as easily.  

I seriously feel sometimes like we are always dealt the bad cards.  We tried so hard to have a baby and then found out we couldn't without IVF.  We had one failed IVF, and then a successful FET.  I had a very easy pregnancy but ended up with a crappy labor and even longer recovery.  And now that we have this sweet little boy, we've had him at numerous doctor appointments and now he has to deal with this.  If I was a piece of crap mother who didn't want children, I'd have 5 kids and they'd all be healthy.  But because I want my child we end up with having to go through everything the hard way.  Life is truly not fair sometimes.  And I've just come to accept that, as hard as that is.  Not matter what though, he will be one spoiled little boy.  I can't help it.  

As always...here's a few pictures of my sweet little boy!

3.5 weeks old!

Doesn't seem possible my little man is 3.5 weeks old already.  I wouldn't trade my little man for the world!!! He's the most precious little thing in my life.  It really is true that life changes when you are a mommy.  I used to never go out without doing my hair, makeup, etc.  I've been in public several times without so much as even a shower and my glasses still ok.  But my little man looks like a million bucks!  lol.

The past 3.5 weeks haven't exactly been easy though.  I don't want to sound like I'm whining but dammit I probably do and I don't really care.  Ok...2 days after we were home Dustin got sick with a cold, 2 days later, I got it.  Then our parents all got it so no help from anyone there.  Doing it all by myself thinking that if Dustin stayed away I wouldn't get it, probably wasn't good for my healing of my incision.  In fact I know it wasn't!  Then Mr. Mason started squeaking when he breathes, sleeps, eats, etc.  Pretty much all the time.  We've been to the ER (first time mommy and daddy we were concerned) and the Pedi 3 times.  It still worries me constantly!!!!  They also think he has reflux so we got moved to Soy Formula.  Not impressed but Dr. knows best right?  This week I just didn't feel right, spiking fevers of 101-102 at night, pains in the side, after call my OB 3 days in a row, they did bloodwork, checked my incision and did a urine culture.  Low and behold UTI!  Oh joy.  Yesterday I ate some undercooked chicken on accident so I'm hoping I don't get sick from that.  Then last night, my dishwasher SHIT THE BED.  I just want the happy healthy mommy and baby stories everyone else has.  It took us 4 years and $14,000 to have him, had a horrible labor and we come home to all this.  Life sometimes just ISN'T fair!!!!!

Ok Whine is over...I will leave this post with a few pictures of my little guy.

23.5 Weeks

Yes I'm a tad bit behind, but that's ok.  23.5 weeks, feeling pretty good.  I have to say, I'm not at all complaining that my swimming pool water has dropped 12 degrees and I'm sitting here in my house with a hoodie and yoga pants and socks on.  Because I know...what is to come.  JULY AND AUGUST HEAT!!!  I'm enjoying the cool weather why I can.  Everyone else may want to punch me in the face...but who would punch a pregnant girl?  :)


So far...so good.  Nothing major going on.  I'm definitely looking like I'm not chunky but actually hiding something under that shirt.  I swear maternity pants are designed to make you BIGGER than what you are.  But I don't care.  I'm kind of enjoying not having to worry about if my belly is sucked in and my clothes hang just right.  It's kind of nice to have that excuse.  :)


Weight gain is still in the normal range, I go to the dr. on Thursday for my 4 week appointment.  That will be the real "weight" determiner.  I just weigh myself every so many days here to see how much it fluctuates and it really doesn't all that much.  However..it IS strawberry season and I did make a killer Strawberry Pie last night.  Said pie is going to work with DH tomorrow to get rid of it.  I had my one piece and need to get rid of it before it calls my name from the fridge at Midnight!


Roof is FINALLY done, after 13 VERY LONG DAYS.  My roofers were good guys and very precise and particular, probably TOO precise.  My pool deck is almost done.  The only thing left is the baby's room.  It is demoed and just needs redrywalled.  Luckily I have an awesome retired neighbor who likes to do construction.  :)  He's a great guy.  In the 3.5 years we've lived here we have found we a.) don't have the time with our jobs and b.) have no desire to do construction/home improvement when you can hire it out cheap!  :)

Fred Flintstone

Yes that would be who's feet mine most resemble right now.  Fred Flintstone.  The heat and humidity don't really bother me except for my feet.  I have old lady cankles.  YUCK YUCK YUCK.  I'm almost embarrassed to wear capris or shorts in public they are so nasty gross!!!  But I will survive.  My nurse said limit my salt, sugar, and carb intake.  Umm..what the hell else am I going to eat?  Eggs and Cheese.  BLECH!!!


My belly isn't huge yet but I had my first, oh shit moment this week.  I bumped into a guy at the garden center at lowe's with my belly.  It was pretty embarrassing.


Oh yeah and pregnancy brain...why doesn't anyone tell you about this?  This morning I'm on my way to work and realize not only did I forget my lunch AND to brush my teeth before I left, but I also forgot my deodorant. Luckily I keep a toothbrush and deodorant at my desk as work so I was covered once I got there.  Then...I went to walmart on my lunch break and came out to put what I bought and what did I find in my trunk?  the 4 pots of flowers my mom bought me and gave me wednesday and said "don't forget the plants are in your car"  Yup, only one died, the other 3 I think I can save!!!


Oye....4 months to go!  Hopefully I have at least one brain cell left by then!  lol

21 Weeks - Holy Shitballs!

Yes we've made it to 21 weeks.  Holy crap!  I never thought we'd get this far.  Babycenter says that sprout is the length of a carrot and weighs about 10 1/2 oz.  That's a little crazy.  I am still very nervous about this pregnancy and I'd like to not be.  But it's one of those beautiful things I feel is ripped from you when you are an infertile.  Every dr. appt it gets more real and real but it's still hard to believe!

Figured I'd start filling out one of these surveys since now I actually feel pregnant.

How far along? 21 weeks, 2 days! 

Total weight gain: 8 lbs

Maternity clothes? Bought a new swimsuit yesterday since I opened the pool the other day and it should be nice and warm for memorial day weekend.

Stretch marks? None that I can see yet.

Sleep: Good I get up to pee but have no problems getting back to sleep.  I'm a great sleeper, almost too great.

Best moment this week:  Feeling Sprout move around from drinking orange juice on my way to work.

Miss anything? Not really

Movement: Yes, especially in the morning after OJ!

Food cravings: Lucky Charms  :)

Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of the dog treat bag makes me a little woozy and raw seafood.  Have yet to get sick at this point.

Gender: It has a kickstand - so it's a boy.  At this point his name is still SPROUT.

Labour signs: No.

Belly button in or out? In.  A deep In so I'll be surprised if it pops out at all.

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy at home, Moody at work.  But that's nothing different.

Looking forward to:  Next weekend - girls day out with my friend for Pedicures and she's going to help me finish my registry with the really needed stuff.

Symptoms:  Peeing like crazy all the time.  But I drink a ton of water so that's why that is.  Extremely tired after doing normal every day chores, like grocery shopping.

18 Weeks

It's been a while.  Still plugging along at 18 weeks.  Hardly seems possible that we are almost 1/2 way there.  We have another week and a half to do before gender reveal.  We are very excited to see Sprout again and make sure he's doing ok.  I'm only calling Sprout a He because I think it is a boy.  No particular reason why, I just do.  I don't care either way as long as Sprout is healthy!!!

This week we (err I mean Dustin) tore apart the room that will be Sprouts.  It needs new windows and because of that new drywall so...Sprout is getting a brand spanking new room.  Hopefully we have it done before baby makes it's arrival.  We also have to have a new roof put on our house.  2012 is going to be an expensive year, but so worth it!!!

Feeling pretty good these days.  Headaches are only occasional instead of every day.  Have some energy back and actually have been walking a few nights a week.  I've only gained 5 lbs so I feel pretty good about that!  I can't believe it's only 5 lbs, my weight must be redistributing itself.  I look like I gained more than 5 lbs!!!

14 Weeks

We are at 14 weeks this weekend. All is good, except for the headaches and the gas bubbles that sprout likes to have float around my belly! Speaking of Belly...mine is starting to grow. I'm a little worried at 14 weeks i'm starting to show, I've been eating rather well so I know it's not that. Sprout is just stretching out and making himself comfy now.

Gender scan is in about 5 weeks then we find out if it has a hotdog or a bun! :) I'm happy with anything. I know my mom and mother in law are hoping for a girl, and I know Dustin would love to have a little Jr. running around but is happy with either. Me..healthy is all I care about! I would wait until Sprout was born to find out gender but Dustin can't handle it that long. He needs to know! haha. And that's fine!

12 Weeks - Almost There!

We are almost into the next step. Almost into the clear. We have our NT Scan on Thursday morning to make sure sprout is still growing correctly and then I will be releasing the duct tape from my mom and mother in laws mouths. The town should know approximately 2.5 seconds after the tape is removed. They have been very good though.

This week has been very uneventful, except my jeans are UNCOMFORTABLE! My dress pants are still fine, my jeans suck!!!! I tried to find a pair of jeans yesterday but its hard to find cute baby momma jeans in short sizes, they are all really really long!!! I will check ebay and online. Hopefully I can find something. I have a good friend loaning me a bunch of dress pants and capris so I am excited about that. Woohoo!!! I may have to enlist ebay!!!

11 Weeks

We've made it so far. We are almost officially into the clear. We have this week ahead and then our NT scan is 3/22. After that scan we'll let our parents tell people, which means the whole world will know in an hour! haha!!!

I've actually let myself start looking at things we need to buy, etc. I was afraid it would jinx me but I have realized it is what it is. So far nothing has changed except the enormously large melons that sit below my neck. I just look like I bought a cheap push up bra. lol I did have to go buy some new shoes yesterday. My heels just HURT. So I bought some cute, comfy flats and a pair of only mid-high heels. Not my normal shoes. I am excited my jeans and work pants still fit.

My appt. this week I haven't gained a pound in 2 weeks, they were happy with that. They said too many people pull the 'I can eat what I want' too early and end up 45+ lbs. I am hoping that won't be me!!! Even though it will be hot this summer, I'd rather be pregnant in the summer with all the fresh fruits and veggies. Winter has such a sucky selection!!! Plus it IS ice cream season too! ;)

One more week and we are in the clear, well the 99% clear, which is makes me very happy!!!! :)

9 Weeks and the Cold that won't die!

Well we've made it one more week. I spent most of the week with a horrible headcold. Just stuffy nose, sinus pressure, etc. Took 2 days off work, felt alot better when I went back on Thurs and Fri, woke up this morning feeling like crap again! UGH!!!! It's just me and saline nasal spray.

Other than that, I feel fine. Nothing major this week. We have an appointment on Monday, our first OB exam. Hoping Sprout is still growing strong in there. I don't know how to get over the anxiety that it could all be gone tomorrow. I know miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat is like 1% but it's still very stressful.

I can't wait to start feeling better as I was cleared to go back to the gym. Just walking on the treadmill but it's more than I've been able to do since the first of January. I'm feeling very blah because I can't atleast walk. I was cleared on Monday but got a cold monday night so...haven't been feeling up to it yet.

So far clothes are still fitting, that's a plus. Considering when I'm sick, all I eat are Carbs (bananas, cereal, toast, noodles, and rice). I'm really bad at that when I'm sick. Hopefully next week I can get back into my normal types of food.

8 Weeks

Well we made it another week. So far so good. Nothing major symptom wise except I could take a 3 hour nap every night after work. I did get pretty nauseous Valentines Day Night. So we didn't do anything, I napped and had cereal and Dustin worked on cleaning the computer room and had leftovers. He didn't mind though, Valentines Day isn't a big deal to us. Just another day really.

I have a Dr. Appt on monday but it's just a family history appointment to go over all the history and see what screening we should have done based on that.

This week I was offered a new job, which is awesome. Only a few people at work know that I am pregnant and I am waiting until 12 weeks to tell them. My one boss does know and she said "this will allow you to work from home if you get too sick to come in to work and allow more flexibility with your schedule" WOOHOO!!! That's awesome! I really do work for a great company, minus the major drama and power struggles that go on, but I'm sure every company has that to some degree.

7 Weeks

Yes kids, that's correct. I'm 7 weeks. And trying to get through the next 5 weeks. So far so good, no major problems. We had our u/s on Wednesday and there is one strong little baby in there, beating away like crazy. And one empty sac, so they both implanted but only one survived to my 6 week scan. That's ok though, one is fabulous in my mind. I'm actually starting to get excited over this. I can't believe it. I know I'm not out of the clear, but it's in gods hands now. I can only eat well and take care of myself. The rest is up to him.

We are keeping it a secret in real life except to our immediate family and few close friends. We are keeping it that way until the 12 week go ahead.

:)

Very Long Process

I thought the 2 week wait from transfer to test was hard. The 3 weeks from test to u/s are even worse!!!!! I spotted a little yesterday and again on Wednesday but the dr. said it's normal for ivf patients. I hope so! I'm trying not to get excited because I know 2 positive blood tests this early aren't always going to come out with a positive outcome. I am very hopeful but I am also preparing for how cruel the real world can be. I'm trying to stay away from Google and only visit those few boards that are FET/IVF related and try to keep stress free. But dang this has been the longest few weeks of my life!!!!

Super Bowl tonight and we have no plans. We haven't had plans for most of the past couple weeks, I've been too tired most of the time. Super Bowl really isn't that exciting for us because the Steelers aren't in it. That's our hometown team. It's really tonight all about the commercials and the half time show.

Some People Are Just A$$holes!

Some people just blow my mind that spread rumors. OMG! So I found out from someone i used to work with than an old crazy bitch boss of mine is telling people i'm pregnant! WTF! My life is this persons business when I haven't worked there in 6 FREAKING YEARS!!!! I'm beyond pissed off. This is honestly the ONE thing I hate about living in a small town! Stupid Nosy Freaking People!

I feel like a BALLOON

I'm SO BLOATED that if you popped my stomach I would probably float around the room like a popped balloon. Hopefully this is a good sign. Bloating is good in this process right?? Other than that, nothing really different going on symptom wise. Still haven't told any of the parents, want to wait until we are for SURE.

Dustin's currently working on renovating the laundry room. We bought front-loader stackables when we moved in so we could put a wash bin in for the dog. Well dog has turned into dogs and tubby and more tubby are too fat for the wash bin. So we took it out and are unstacking the washer and dryer and putting kitchen cabinets above for storage. We are also repainting. :) He hates the color, but he'll get over it. He always does.

The waiting game

The waiting game literally sucks!!!! lol. I hate having to wait a week for every "milestone" I'm an instant gratification kind of person, that's why I have a kindle. When I want a new book I want it now. I don't want to wait for it to come in the mail, or drive to the store. I want it now! :) That's how I roll.

So far So good!

Beta #1 was yesterday. My level was 651. They like to see above 100 for 14 days past transfer. So I have a very high number. I'm happy but also weary. I know that there are so many more milestones to hit. I have to go back the 1st for another test to see if it has tripled. Then they will schedule me for an u/s to see what's in there, and how many. It's so hard, I feel like i have been robbed of being able to have any excitement. I worry everytime I go to the bathroom, every twinge I have, every test I have to take for fear that it will be taken from me. This should be an exciting time, but it's so hard to be excited when I know how reality can be. Hopefully if we get a good report next week, we'll tell our parents at that time, I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. We did that the last time and it was a hard time.

3 days until Test day

We had our transfer on Jan 11 and we have our blood test to see if Round #2 worked. This time I am feeling alot different than I did the last time around. I'm hoping that's good. Wednesday is milestone #1. There are many more that we have to hit for this to actually "work" and I am trying to be positive. It's so hard though. Especially when I don't have my family to lean on. We decided this time around to not tell them, it was just too hard the last time to let them down. This time we only told a few people just to have a saving grace. I never realized how hard this would be to hide! Sooo good thoughts for milestone #1!

Goodbye 2011 ~ Hello 2012

Well it's officially 2012. Thank GOD! 2011 literally was one of the crappier years in the past many we've had. I am hoping 2012 is a little better and hopefully more exciting.

This year I have chosen Acceptance as my word of the year. I have accept the things I cannot change and try not to let it affect the rest of my life. This year I have become very "sharp and pokey" towards people and I need to change that.I need to use the motto from work "It is what it is!"

I also need to work on being less of a clutter keeper and hoarder. My house is full of useless paper that I don't need to keep. Maybe this year will be less clutter both in house and in mind.