Finally Something I have looks Good! lol

I had my first U/S for my IVF process to see if everything was a go. I had to be at the dr. office at 8 am which is an hour drive from my house. Then after the U/S go to the lab for bloodwork. I didn't get to work until almost 11 a.m. But I have a system now, so when I go tomorrow I know how to get into the lab quicker rather than waiting for 45 mins.

The worst part is waiting for the clinic to call you in the afternoon to tell you it's a go or somethings wrong. I was really worried something was wrong, because I started AF that morning and had some serious pain on the side where everything is tangled up. She called around 1:30 though and told me that everything looked wonderful. It looked good enough they were going to lower my levels of stims to proceed with caution so I'm not overstimulated. That made me feel alot better. To actually hear that everything looks wonderful was a sigh of relief. I haven't had anything "look" wonderful since this process started almost a year ago. We've always been told what they figured they'd find, or how they expected it to work out, and nothing was as planned. To have something as planned was awesome!!!

Stims started Friday night, the only major thing is I have this crazy headache that won't go away. But I'm plugging through it, nothing major, nothing Migraine like so I can handle it. I go again tomorrow for a monitoring appointment. If everything goes as planned my ER is Nov 1st and ET will be Nov 5th. Which means by Thanksgiving we should know if it worked or not! :)

1 Week Down

And so far so good! The only major side effects are tiredness which my friends just tell me is preparing me for if i do get pregnant and the pregnancy fatigue that goes along with it. I've been drinking about 80 oz of water a day which i think has helped with any possible headaches. So far so good. I know the worse part comes next friday with the stims but so far I'm doing ok!

Day 1

Is here! EEEEK!!!!! I'm so nervous I might have to poo! lol. I don't know why, I've done other "hormone altering" drugs before and am used to feeling crazy, hot flashes, etc. Granted those were in the middle of January when it was 10 below zero out! It just means it's here. And I think that scares me! But I'm ready. I almost wish we had schedule it early so i didn't have time think about it. I'm such a scaredy cat.

On a non-infertile topic, Jill's wedding was yesterday and it couldn't have gone any better. It was 75 degrees and sunny, for Oct 8th, that is UNHEARD of in NW PA! She looked great! Everyone had a wonderful time. Best Wishes for her and Rick and happily ever after!

Now I'm off to read for a little while to keep my mind off of my shots tonight at 9 pm!

One More Week...

One week from tonight I start my first injection on this crazy rollercoaster ride of IVF. I have to admit, I had a minor mental breakdown in the parking lot of walgreen's on Thursday night when I picked up my medication. It was VERY overwhelming. I was pretty sure I couldn't do it. But I sucked it up (along with a small milkshake), shook off the uncertainty and moved on my way. Can't go back now, we've come way too far. It's just very intimidating. I know I can do it, I just doubt myself at times.

Scheduled!!!

That's right, my IVF is scheduled. I will start my injections of Lupron on Oct 9, 2011. My stims will start on Oct 21st, with my baseline u/s scheduled for that day. My tentative ER is Nov 1st with transfer on the 5th. I should know by turkey day if I'm PG from this cycle or not.

I am trying to not get overly excited. I realize this is a process and sometimes doesn't always happen on the first shot. It's kind of like playing the lottery with one other person. It's a 50-50 chance you'll win. Kind of scary.

I feel kind of robbed. Robbed of the joy of an 'unexpected' positive pregnancy test. Robbed of the excitement of trying to conceive and it just 'happening.' Has it made me bitter? At times, yes it has. There are times when I just want to scream WHY ME, WHAT DID I DO TO CAUSE THIS? But then I remember there are worse things that could happen, I have my health (for the most part), a great family, wonderful husband, and the best friends a girl could ask for. I am a very lucky person. But sometimes, it gets the best of me and I just want to shout What The F*@$ from the rooftops sometimes!

DH has told me all summer long to just suck it up, lose the bitterness, etc. Then we went for our IVF consolation and the reality finally hit him. This is the ONLY way we can conceive is with medical science. We have become stronger because of it, but we still bicker here and there like every couple under stress does! We wouldn't be us without the little bickering here and there! :)

Another Baby

My friend Amanda had her second child yesterday and i had the pleasure again to be in the c-section room with her. Her family lost her sister during child birth about 3 years ago so she's asked me each time. It's awesome to be able to experience the birth of a child. It's kind of bittersweet though knowing that we haven't made it to that moment yet ourselves, however she is my best friend and I am very happy for her.

Little Miss MacKenzie Mae was born on 8/11 at 9:11 a.m. and is doing wonderful. Her big sister Amie Sue is so happy to be a big sister, even if she is only 19 months old! :) Welcome MacKenzie, you have a wonderful lovable family!!!

31

No not the party, that's my actual age since Thursday. It wasn't near as hard as 30 was. I have come to the realization that things don't happen by a certain time or an age, they happen when they happen.

My birthday was wonderful. Momma brought a cake to work, everyone loves my mom's cakes. They are wonderful! The cake and the sugary frosting! DH sent flowers and took me to a wonderful dinner! Next week at the beach I get to pick out a new purse at the Coach store! :) Very exciting!!!!!! Our dinner was up on the lake and even though it was 100 degrees it was a very tasty dinner.

Things to accomplish by next year...become more proactive rather than reactive! :)

Total Reality Check

We went to Cleveland last week to the fertility dr. to discuss our options. We know there is really only one option, bring on the science baby!!!! Luckily my broken pipes are the only thing that preventing us from a real pregnancy. I ovulate great eggs every month and dh's sperm is FABULOUS! So I guess we have a better chance in this lottery than others I know. The clinic itself was awesome. They are professional, yet compassionate. We could've started THIS WEEK. How crazy is it that I have waited 2 years for this moment and I'm like...uh I need just ONE MORE WEEK!!! :) Crazy Crazy!!!

We are scheduled to go on Vacation in 2 weeks, so our plan is to enjoy it, then when we come back sit down and hash out the details and set a schedule up. I have to mentally psych myself up for 37+ days of injections. YEEHAW!!!! Bring on the BITCH! :)

A Raise...yet one I have to work for! Literally!

So after making it very clear to the bosses son on Friday I was no impressed with the high amount of $$ we are paying new people, I was called in yesterday and informed I was getting a pay raise because they appreciate my time that i have put in and my dedication to the company. I also made it clear to my boss that I may have a time in the future where I will need to come in late every other day for a few weeks to have bloodwork and u/s done. And that I appreciate what they have done, however, I understand if they want to move me to hourly and I will take those hours without pay. He told me that the company will pay me no matter how many hours I need to take off during that period and thanked me for being upfront with him over this situation and I still get my raise.

I seriously think they want me to work for my raise. Today I found out at 4:30 that I had to have a presentation ready for my boss by 8 a.m. tomorrow. So here I sit at home working on a presentation so I can get it emailed by 10 p.m. tonight. Yeehaw!!!!

Go Big or Go Home

I swear that's my husband's philosophy in life. I wanted a real swimming pool this year and I got enough in my annual bonus to buy one. We are big on not aquiring debt for a hobby or entertainment purposes. Well I wanted a 21' or an 18' and he ordered the 24' round pool. 15,000 gallons of pure summer entertainment. He surprised me tuesday when I was golfing and had it installed so it's installed and completely full and it's FREAKING HUGE!!!! I swear I may need to telephathically connect to the person on the other side of it. I am calling it the big white elephant of the back yard. lol.

It's a good thing we paid to have it installed because although we love each other very much, construction projects are not our strong suit together. Last night we put the ladder together and in the pool, it took us 2 HOURS to install just the ladder. And patience was very thin by that time! Now I just need the sunshine to enjoy it. Come ON SUNSHINE!!! :)

Post-Op Appt.

I had my post-op appointment on Monday after my surgery. I had a feeling I knew what they were going to tell me but I had never let on to anyone. I have endometriosis and I have 2 blocked tubes that are unable to be unblocked. I have a 5% chance of conceiving without medical assistance. The dr. bascially said that you can do what you want and wait but you wouldn't quit your job today, planning on winning the lottery tonight.

So I have an appointment with an RE in Cleveland on July 14th to see what my options are and what the costs will be. We know it will be costly but we are willing to see what it's all about.

There are a few people at work that know what we are planning on doing. Most people are very understanding. I don't want alot of people to know because I don't want to be "that" person. The one that people feel sorry for. And frankly I don't want to hear everyone's opinion. I had one coworker the other day tell me that what I am looking into is "unethical." Well there are a lot worse things I could be doing than this!!! Unethical?? Kiss my big butt!!!

Nervous

Tomorrow I get the results of my sonogram I had last week and I'm a little nervous. So nervous I took the whole day off work because I didn't really want to go back if i get bad news. I just keep fearing the worst and I don't know why. Last night I had a minor breakdown around 2 am. Thankfully he was sleeping and didn't hear me. I just don't get it. I don't get why it's me. One in 100 people, and I'm the 1! Go figure!

Good news though...dustin had his septoplasty and polyp removal yesterday and is doing really good. He took today off work because I made him but I think he's glad he did. He was bored all day but he rested which he needed. Now all he wants to do is pick his big boogers and I won't let him!!! lol.

Another Dr. Visit, Another Test

Well I was supposed to go to the Dr. next friday for a sonogram and for an appointment after the sonogram to find out what is going on with my crazy woman parts. But...I was 6 days early yesterday, so in order to find out what's going on they want to do my sonogram during my period. But unfortunately they couldn't reschedule my dr. appointment for the same day. So my sono is tomorrow and my dr. appointment is next friday. Wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take a 1/2 day to go there, and drive back to work. So I miss 1/2 day of work both days. But if they find out what's wrong, I'm thrilled. I can't handle the digging pains anymore on my left side. And 6 days early, WTF!!!! Nothing like being unprepared on khaki day! UGH!!!!

Spring has Sprung if only for a few days...

Spring is finally here, It's gorgeous out today! I know it won't last but I'll enjoy it while it's here. 60's in Pennsylvania in March is almost unheard of. This week is FINALLY over. Let the weekend begin!!!!! The past couple weeks have been extremely busy at work, it seems the more people we hire, the dumber they are. I'm not being harsh, I'm being serious. I have never seen a more lazy group of people who think they should only have to work 4 hours in an 8 hour day and goof off the other 4 hours. Hopefully it will get better soon. It has to, right????

This weekend I have a baby shower. I'm not real enthused about going, but then again, why would I be. I will go, paint on a happy face, and then come home and eat a donut! haha! Food lately has been my friend, and my ever expanding waist shows it. It's hard to combat this problem and not get upset and stressed about it. 2 years is an extremely long time, and especially since every single person I know seems to be pregnant. I feel like people are always feeling sorry for me, like they KNOW what's going on, even though those that know are few and far between. My goal for next week is to get to the gym 3 times next week. Maybe that will help me cope with this. I doubt it but it's worth a try!

I fought the deer, and the deer won!

Well after 4 years of living here in the middle of nowhere, I hit a stupid deer. I hit it this morning on my way to work. I didn't even see him, he just leaped over the guard rail and right into my car. I was just eating my breakfast and THUD. I actually said out loud "SON OF A B!TCH!" Then I kind of had to laugh. Of course that's my way of getting through things lately. Just laugh, it's harder to get mad or cry that way. I didn't think it was that bad, until I got to work. Yup, he got both doors, the fender, the bumper and the headlight casing. This is going to be costly, thankfully i have GREAT insurance!!! This was honestly my first claim ever since I started driving 14 years ago, so I am very lucky. Someone asked at work how I could just laugh. Well...easy, it's a car. A material possession. Yes, it's my way to get to work and yes it's a newer car, but it's just a car. The most important things in live, aren't things at all!

Spring Cleaning

It's that time again to spring clean. Unfortunately since we put the new floors in, we haven't gotten all the boxes unpacked so I guess that's going to be part of the spring cleaning this year. I love my house, I do, but we are seriously lacking some kitchen space. I think I may head to home depot to check out premade pantrys to see if I can get one to fit in our kitchen. At this point we are not going to redo the kitchen anytime soon and i need more storage space.

I finally told my dad about our issues. He didn't have a clue. I only let him know because i know it's gotta be running around in his head why we haven't had one yet since we've been married almost 4 years. He just asked what they are doing. I explained what they are going to do now and what they may do in the future. The last resort is $15,000 for only a 60% chance. So that one I said we probably wouldn't go with due to the cost of it, or it would be a VERY last resort and a one time shot.

3 Weeks Until Christmas

How did it get to be December already. The tree is up, the lights are on, and the gifts are almost 1/2 bought. Seems like it was just September and we were selling pumpkins.

Last night we went to Wing City Grille for dinner in Lakewood, it's newly opened and we thought we'd give it a try. The place is very nice, but the food was just ehhh ok. Plus you can tell when you are getting old. They were setting up for karaoke night and we were in front of the speaker. We kept complaining to each other that it was too loud. I have officially become my parents. When the heck did that happen!!!

This week has been crazy busy at work. We had flooding one day and then snow on the thruways in NY state the other day. We actually had 2 drivers stuck on the thruway for 24 hours! That's just crazy. It's weeks like this that make me wish I had chosen a different profession when I was choosing my major all those years ago Sophomore year at Pitt. But it is what it is. Hopefully this week will be less challenging. Don't get me wrong I am all about a good challenge but I'm afraid I may not have much hair left by the end of the year. lol.

Garden Varieties

The best part about August is the Gardens are in full bloom. This year has been so hot and humid we have had a bumper crop garden. We have some cucumbers that are almost 2 feet long. They are huge!!! And the pumpkins, OMG the pumpkins. We will probably have over 400 when it's all said and done. I am going sometime in the next few weeks get some paints out and make signs to sell the pumpkins this fall. I figure I better get the signs all made and ready because once the pumpkins are ready they are going to need to get sold!!!

I finally bought a new digital camera last night. I'm so cheap! I have been wanting a new one since I dropped my old one back in November but it finally stopped working in March. I was afraid I'd buy the wrong one but I realized I'm not a professional photographer so mediocre pictures are ok with me. As long as I have pictures.

August Laziness

I can't believe it's the middle of august already. The summer has flown by!!! It's this time of year when the humidity is high and the energy level is VERY LOW!!! I have no desire to do anything most nights after work. I guess this is the lazy days of summer they talk about. Soon there will be leaves on the ground and cool crisp mornings. What I wouldn't do to be able to sleep without the A/C running all night long. I am definately and hoodie and jeans kind of person.

Week 1

Well after week 1 on weight watchers I am down 2 lbs. and actually have more energy. I've dieted before but never really on weight watchers. I'm used to not being able to eat this or that, and now I can within reason. It seems easier when you are counting points rather than adding calories. I know it's the same concept but it just seems easier. I love that you can earn more points by doing things and working out. I love that!!! Spinning class alone I earn 6 points and didn't even use them last week.

There is much drama with my brother and his girlfriend again. I'm not sure if I feel like Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer. He needs to cut his losses and get rid of her. I know he is keeping it going becuase of his son, but he'll still see his son. He just needs to go talk to someone and get rid of her. She's a lazy piece of crap! I can't imagine living with someone who pays for my car, my insurance all the food for me and my kids (one is not even his), pays the mortgage and bills and yet she complains he doesn't help with daycare. FOR REAL??? What a bitch!

Another weekend gone. Got alot done around the house today and the bathroom is coming along nicely. Hopefully we'll be tiling next weekend!!! :)